Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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