He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
