If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
