Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
