I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Randomize
