In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
