he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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