white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
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