he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Randomize
