Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Randomize
