You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
