I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize
