Already got asked if we're dating
matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
