I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Sober January is a disaster.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
