i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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