you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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