on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Randomize
