I think my vagina is haunted
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
