The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
