and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
how drunk are you?
Several
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize
