For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
