You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I wish i was in the wii world.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
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