she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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