I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
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