you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
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