sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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