he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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