i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
