I wish I could punch you in the face.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
