there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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