thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
