Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
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