all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
We have started to decorate penises.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
