Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
