we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
