You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
