I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
