you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
