During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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