i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
