no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
