My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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