New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
