My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
