hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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