the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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