We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
