is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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