I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Are we still banned from the library?
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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