Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I supernannyed him into submission
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize
